new world, new routine, but still, the same old me. maybe ?

First of all, Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah for having this opportunity joining this training programme. at first, was quite hesitate to commit to it, mainly because i was like 'oh man, i want to work, not spending another semester in classes'. i just dont know what made me agreed to accept the offer.

on the first day of the training, im till thinking 'am i doing the right thing?' 'oh no, what ive got myself into'. smpailah dah waktu break. pergi surau for solat zohor. dengar mcm ada ceramah. asked one of the makcik there 'makcik, kat sini hari hari ke ada tazkirah waktu zohor?' 'aah lebih kurang laa. kalau tak pun, dua hari sekali ada buat.' 'ohhh' dalam hati tiba tiba rasa seronok. and thinking 'okay, this is interesting. im starting to like this place'. dan paling best pulak ustaz tu masa tu tengah cerita sejarah nusantara. selalu dengar akhawat cakap pasal ni, tapi bila dengar sendiri. rasa macam 'okay kena cari ni recording pkcik pasal sejarah nusantara ni'. it was great indeed. walaupun pergi pagi rasa macam this might be a wrong decision, tapi pulang dengan hati senang. and i thought again 'this is what He had planned for me, so its impossible this will go wrong kann' ^_^

the next monday, it just get more and more interesting. we get to know more about the banking and insurance industry. but honestly, exposure on the corporate world scares me. rasa macam im soooooo not ready for this. i dont know which part of it. but terasa berat sgt beban kat bahu. the next day we had an etiquette class. im not a fan of protocols and when she talks about how to dress up, how our attire would show our professionalism, rasa macam 'one day, i would like to change this perception of professionalism attires'. kenapalah yg ketat, pendek tu lah yg nampak professional ? kasut tinggi, snggul tinggi tu lah nampak kemas, nmpak cantik -___-'

after two days balik dengan kepala yang berat, fikir macam 'Ya Allah, how am i going to face all this ? terasa sangat x mampu nak pegang prinsip bila every single thing nmpak sangat bertentangan.' tapi Allah kan super sweet. I got the answer, my motivation the next day. Alhamdulillah.

Encik din *heh macam sedara je kann* was superb and seriously an inspiration. sepanjang talk tu, i keep saying to myself 'okay this is what im aiming for. A daie and a corporate leader at the same time.'  mahu menjadi berjaya so that i can speak in front of others, doing dakwah like him. rasa macam tersedar bila dia kata 'we, as a muslim. our main goal is ? to get His blessing in everything we do. tak kira lah kita ni kerja kat mana and industry apa pun. yang penting kita kejar redha Allah' and honestly, dalam hati memang menunggu statement like that coming from one of these corporate leaders. im glad i had a chance to be there. He truly an inspiration. now, im aiming to be one of the leaders in this islamic finance industry, and one day i would like to see that when people walking into the bank to open an account, they will automatically open an islamic account, and at that time, conventional is just an alternative, which reversing the situation these days. yeah. im aiming for that. seems too high with the current condition but deep down inside, im confident it is achievable. no doubt :)

so yeah. here i am ranting all this out. should be in bangi right now, tapi x dapat pergi. should go to pd tomorrow tapi high chances x pergi jugak. mungkin Dia mahu kte duduk rumah dan muhasabah diri, mencari kembali diri, make plan how to adapt to this cycle, to this new routines, i dont know. He knows better.